Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Reflection
I originally wrote Dancing on the Edge in 1980 to help troubled youngsters find help and hope, only to have it languish in my file cabinet for 31 years. I started to produce it several times, only to have to set it aside to get a real job to support my family while working on other peoples projects. Then in January 2011, I had the chance to produce and direct a $12M feature with an Oscar© winning actor. We had the financing all but in hand when it was revealed that the source of the money was morally unacceptable. I turned it down. Losing that financing was pretty depressing. Finally, my amazing wife Victoria said, “You’re a wonderful writer with a cabinet full of good scripts. Why don’t you do one of your own?” Apparently, my time had come, as it seemed like everything I touched turned to gold. Victoria helped me buy a Canon 5D Mk.II set up and I had much of my own grip. I had to rent a dolly, 2 back up C-stands and a car mount kit. After buying insurance and a city film permit I had $4000. and had no idea how I would feed my crew for 23 days. It was nothing less than the Biblical story of the loaves and fishes in the 21st Century, as we ate like kings every day. We never actively solicited investment (we had no time) but folks would come up to me that had heard about what we were trying to do and would hand me a check for a thousand dollars expecting nothing in return but were just moved to contribute to what we were trying to do.
Then there was my cast and crew.
None of them had any real experience in feature filmmaking or screen acting. I couldn’t afford even the excellent Ultra-Low Budget contract offered by the Screen Actor’s Guild so I had to use non-union talent that became one of the show’s greatest miracles.
No Director ever had a crew more dedicated or professional in their execution of their many duties as my crew. Most of them wore many hats and functioned with distinction in positions well beyond their experience, notably my DP, a 17 year old with a master’s eye, Daniel Steely. I was also blessed with the most amazing cast I’ve ever worked with. Tom Zalutko, my business partner and best friend, Alyssa Rakoz, Emily Abramson (who walked on hoping for an extra job) all first time actors. Heidi Geil a nursing student, and the incomparable Victor Morris the only veteran actor and co-producer, all contributed performances that were beyond belief. But leaving us all in awe was the stellar performance of 13 year old Nicole McCullough, of tiny Warren, Oregon. No actor in the 43 years I have worked in this business has been more of a joy to direct or an honor to know than Nicole. This young lady is endowed with as much intelligence, moxie and class as Jodie Foster and is destined to be a mega-star of the future.
To quote Dale Newton & John Gaspard’s book ‘Digital Filmmaking 101’ “In the early stages of the rough cut, you often make a real switch in your thinking. You stop trying to make the movie you set out to make, and you begin to define the movie you have made.”
How true that has been for me. I knew I had written a good story. I had confidence in my ability as a director of actors, yet I had never worked in the digital format before. I had a cast and crew that were virtually first timers, and I prayed that I wouldn’t have a very expensive ‘home movie’ on my hands. I hoped that the top pros at Rexpost in Portland, OR wouldn’t laugh me out the door. Like the above quote, it wasn’t long into the rough cut when I discovered that under the loving care of my Editor Ben Meader and Post Prod Supervisor Tara Krick, what I feared would be a frog started turning into a beautiful princess and a picture that was far and away better than I had anticipated. My wife was right all along.
Yet , the greatest joy is not the destination, but the voyage. My life has been permanently and profoundly changed by this experience. The conquering of personal fears and insecurities, the confidence that comes from victory over difficulty; and the joy and love I have and will continue to share with my fellow teammates will lead me on to our next picture.
Thirty-one years ago I wrote this script in the hope that if I could just influence one life for the better then I would be a success. I never dreamed it would be mine.
“Sandy” MacKenzie
